Posted on by becomingwildher

Breaking Point…

I never imagined that I would be homeless, but here I am relying on the kindness of friends, sleeping on floors and using my Mom’s address for mail. I know we have to suffer for our art and I’ve made more compromises and sacrifices than I ever imagined I was capable of. I feel like I am giving up vital pieces of myself that I might never get back. I’m not okay with that and I’m not sure that any dream is worth the torture I’m currently subjecting myself and my family to.

We’re past our limits on every front and we’re mentally and physically exhausted. I’ve been screwed over, passed over, screamed at, assaulted and subjected to pure filth. We’re out of money and patience.

I was up for a Production internship at Saatchi & Saatchi and they LOVED my reel, but decided to go with another candidate. Story of my life. Everyone tells me I should get a Post-Production Assistant or Assistant Editor position, but they like to hire people they know, so I can’t even get a call back.

I’m 3 years in and I’m a millimeter from tapping out. I’m not the kind of girl who gives up, but I need an income for basic sustenance needs. I need a break. My family needs a break.

It doesn’t need to be easy, but it shouldn’t be this hard for talent to shine through. When I make it (and I WILL make it), I will make a point of seeking out exceptional talent and using my connections and influence to give them a chance to learn and grow.

I can’t be the only one who thinks that way. Where the hell are all the mentors and why the HELL can’t I catch a break???

Argh.

Posted on by becomingwildher

I am Here

In August 2016, I resigned from my job in Seattle, WA and moved to Los Angeles with the goal of finally getting my undergraduate degree in Business and Music at the University of Southern California and pursuing a career in Talent Management.

I’d been spending every Sunday night, from 8pm-2am, at Conor Byrne’s Open Mic for the past year and everyone who approached me was convinced that I had the ability to make their wildest dreams a reality. Night after night, I took my seat and gave my undivided attention to each performer who took the stage and while oftentimes I was the only one paying attention, and more often than not the performance was less than stellar, there were moments of sheer brilliance that seemed to stop time and silence the otherwise oblivious crowd. Each of these moments made me more and more convinced that making dreams come true for these rare few was exactly what I wanted to be doing.

So, filled with optimism and a fierce determination, I loaded all of my earthly possessions into a U-Haul and made the 1200 mile journey down I-5 to Los Angeles.

I didn’t know then, that a Business class would lead to a passion for filmmaking and editing or that my financial aid would run out within the year, leaving me without a college degree, fruitlessly searching for work, buried under an obscene amount of student debt and struggling to survive in the City of Angels.

This will be my honest account of what it takes to get from where I am (currently sleeping on my sister’s floor and being turned down for jobs ranging from Netflix, HBO and Trailer Park to the City of Los Angeles, Starbucks and Whole Foods) to where I want to be (making and/or editing stellar content that makes an impact around the globe), while also staying mentally, emotionally and physically healthy while getting there.

Believe me, when you’ve received thousands (yes, thousands) of rejection letters and Whole Foods tells you you’re not qualified to stock their shelves, I guess it’s time to put on your big-girl pants and a brave face, ’cause this ride’s about to get a bit rocky.

I can’t guarantee where this journey will lead. I have no road map and no real plan at this point. I’ve exhausted all of my resources and I’m out of ideas. Perhaps this is how the homeless population in Los Angeles keeps growing, but for however long it lasts and for whatever lessons we might learn along the way, you are welcome to join me.

Peace & Blessings

-K